Hi y’all! First, I want to thank each of you for taking time to read the blog and send encouraging messages. It truly means so much to me. I never want Embracing the Journey to become a repeat of the same post without depth into my story. In the spirit of transparency, I write this to give you an insight into my life: my joys, my trials, my journey. This isn’t easy to write – to be this vulnerable – but hopefully where I am will encourage others that God is good, no matter what season you’re in.
The Five Year Plan
I think we all like to have a general idea of what our future holds. Only God holds tomorrow, and although we try to think about what may happen, only He knows. So when I graduated high school, I had a perfect five year plan for my life.
This is how it looked:
- Get my degree to be a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. – I ended up getting degrees in journalism and communication studies.
- Graduate in four years. – I graduated in three and a half years. As much as this was a blessing, I struggled with no longer being a student.
- Meet the right guy and be married after graduation. – Single and waiting on God.
God works in us to shape us into who we need to be. He has shown me through this that He has ultimate control of our lives. Not one part of my five year plan happened, but God is good. My high school graduation class verse was Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” How true this would come to be in my life.
Dreams and Desires
A few desires are very close to my heart and grow stronger with each new day.
- I have the strong desire to be a Christian wife. To enjoy life with someone in the good times and the bad times and grow closer to God together.
- I love kids. I call them “littles” because they are a blank canvas of God’s story. He planned their life before time began. Being a mom, to raise sweet “littles” to be strong arrows for the Kingdom, how much I desire to have that one day.
- For ten years, adoption has been on my heart. I would love to someday adopt. We are adopted by our Heavenly Father and we are fully His. As Americans we are truly blessed and I would love to raise children to know and love God.
Where I am in life today, I can’t make any of these things happen. As difficult as it is to know the call on your life and not be living it out, there is a peace, a gentle assurance, that God placed these desires on my heart. That God knows who, how and when He will fulfill each of these dreams. I have learned that it may not be how I thought it would, but it is so much more beautiful and all the glory goes to God when you stay in His will. When you wait on Him. When He opens the store houses of blessings. So I wait. I pray. Yes, I cry. I pour out my heart to Him for He knows every aspect of me. And I thank Him for all He has done and will do. Whatever that may be.
My Source and Strength
Journey means you move from destination to destination. I know this is temporary and this is how I am embracing my journey.
Through this dry season, God has given me glimpses of just how big He is. We try to put God in a box, but He is far greater than our wildest dreams or imaginations and I am eternally grateful that I can’t grasp how omniscient and all-powerful He is.
I anchor to three verses during this season.
Sometimes, God strips away everything we may put our identity in for us to realize that our identity is only truly found in Him. I have been reading a Psalms a day and it is amazing how each chapter perfectly lines up with what I just faced or am about to walk through.
Every night I go back to Psalm 40. The whole chapter encourages me, however I rest in verse 1.
“I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry.”
We have a tendency to try to limit God. We know all the verses about how all-powerful He is, but do we truly believe it? Are we acting upon it? I love the amplified version of Ephesians 3:20. “Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us.” As God continually brings up this verse, I anchor in His promises.
Finally, Psalm 84:11 reminds me that even though I get weary, God remains strong. Embracing this journey is temporary. How comforting is this promise? “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord bestows grace and favor and honor; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
This is my journey. Hopefully now that you know my story, the past and future blog posts will show a little bit more of my heart, but more importantly the heart of God. May you trust Him with your immeasurably more.